My long-lost friends,
It feels like forever since I have had the luxury of sitting down, opening my computer, and looking with excitement upon a fresh, blank page from which I can write to you. I’ve been choosing sleep over writing these days because the sleep-deprivation of new motherhood is killing me. However, I’ve decided to choose writing over sleep because I know that not writing will kill me faster.
So here I am.
With unwashed hair and kitchen sink full of dishes and a million other things I could/should be doing.
Before we begin, I think it’s only fair to warn you that this post may be very incoherent and drunk-sounding. The little sleep I am getting is making me vague and confused, even more than I usually am. Obviously this is no good to someone who wants to write, and write something worthwhile. But I just wanted you to know that I’m not actually drunk. Not even a little bit. This is just how I sound these days. Plus, most of my conversations start and end with high-pitched squeals and are filled in the middle with repeated sounds like da-da-da-da, so I’m out of practice talking Adult.
I hope you understand.
Anyway, I cannot for the life of me remember what I was going to write to you about.
All day, I think of a million little stories in my head that I swear to myself I won’t forget and now that I have finally gotten a chance to sit down, my mind is blank.
People tell me this is Motherhood. That I’ll never get my mind back. And that with every child you have, you lose more mind. I really, really hope they are lying. Or at least exaggerating. Because we’re having four kids. Not that Joel knows that yet. It’s our little secret, you guys. He thinks two is a good number, but I got him to say out loud the other day that he is “open to the possibility” of four. He said it through clenched teeth and in a very bored tone. I think he just wanted to shut me up and make me go away. I can’t be sure.
Anyway, where was I?
Oh that’s right, I CAN’T REMEMBER.