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Kitchens With Flowers

It was one of those weekends. Fresh sheets lined our bed, smelling of sun and god. We ate blueberries on the driveway, the sun lighting up my daughter’s hair like dawn was breaking in it. Girlfriends visited and cups of tea were devoured. We played music and baked and went for bike rides. We packed our car full of rugs and treats and drove far, far away to places we could just sprawl our souls out and sigh ahhhhhhhhh.

 

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It’s funny, when I was little, I always dreamed of being 27. I imagined that to be a very grown up age. I’d have babies and my very own kitchen to cook in and I could even pick flowers and put them on the kitchen counter if I wanted. My husband would be handsome and he would love me a lot and we would have a family that did all sorts of fun things together. I couldn’t wait to be 27.

Walking through the forest this weekend, I suddenly remembered all those things I used to think about when I was little. It was strange, remembering the you you had always dreamed of becoming. Remembering how magical and great and exotic you imagined life would be. How grown up you would feel. Walking along, I tried hard to picture myself being watched through the eyes of my ten-year old self.  I realized I was 27 when I fell pregnant with Ella and that 2 years later, I was doing it. Right then and there, I was at the place I’d always dreamed about.

The weekend ended at my parents’ house for dinner, and the strangest thing happened. Mum handed me a whole stack of primary school work books and told me they were mine. She asked if I wanted to keep any of them. I had a quick look through, not particularly interested, but then, one caught my eye. Journal, was all it said. I quickly opened it up and noticed it was dated 1994. I met my ten-year old self, through her writing. The ten-year old self I was JUST imagining hours before. I read aloud page after page and I laughed so hard I cried. Hysterical.

3.3.94

Today is Thursday. We’ve got to go to woodwork in 5 minutes. Sarah is my best friend and I am going to her house after school and we are taping sounds on the tape recorder. We might play with her pet puppy as well. I think wood-work will be very fun.

15.3.94

Today at lunchtime Sarah and I are on the computer. We will probably play math’s rescue. My best friend is Sarah Moore. My left ear is infected. Tommorrow will be wednesday and for drama we had to make some particular sounds. My partner is Sarah Moore and we have done our sounds.

24.5.94

I’ve got the hiccups. This-morning we had tests. Every-one said they were nervous. But I wasn’t. On Saturday, it was Sarah’s birthday. For a present I gave her my very first, special cross-stich and she didn’t even appreciate it. She didn’t comment on it and all the others did. A boy gave her a drink bottle! She even commented on it! She said, “Thats just what I need.” I was very dissapointed. My favourite brother is Liam. He understands me now and he likes me. I do not have a best friend any more.

9.6.94

Yesterday our pet turtle got away. For lunch I have ordered 2 sausages from the sausage sizzle. As you all know my best friend is Sarah.

19.7.94

Yesterday was a very important day because…you guessed it. Brazil won the world cup. Everyone was yelling and cheering except….Italy. Poor Italy. I’ll tell you what, they were doing the opposite. They were cring their head off. Their hope of winning the world cup for 1994 was down the drain. Today we did the mexican wave. It wasn’t what I expected.

18.10.94

Can you believe it? Sarah, Julia and I have started a business called The Local Petsitting Agency! We were going to invite Alaina but we realized she is way to irresponsible. Our meetings are: Wednesday 4:00 to 4:30 and Thursday 3:30 to 5:00. I just can’t WAIT till Wednesday, but it will come, slowly. After all, it is only Tuesday.

24.10.94

I had a wonderful week-end. I didn’t realize how nice it is to relax! Well, it wasn’t all relaxing. You see, I had to do my project of course! I can write pretty good with my left hand. Sarah is still my best friend. The time is three past 11. Oh wait. Now it is four past 11.

3.11.94

I am really tired. Tommorrow, a boy who has never been to school before is coming to our class for a visit and find out what a real class-room is like. James .W. has still got a rash under his nose. It was almost gone on Friday, but he must have made it worse over the week-end. He thinks it is just a cold. It is still red and he keeps on rubbing it. I have written 75 words. We have just finished morning tea. I had one sausage, six crackers, 1 slice of fruit cake and one pear. (I eat alot!)

22.11.94

I feel really sick. I threw up about 5 mins ago. You see, for morning tea I had a strawberry moo. It must have been off or something. Orla said “It is puffed up at the bottom, so there must be air in the bottom therefore, bacteria must be in there” and I drank it! Oh no! I can’t wait till Thursday next week! MOVIES!! The bad news is, that my mother broke her leg. You see, we were all trying to lift her up and I couldn’t and she fell to the ground and fractured her ankle. I’m am really sorry for her. If any-one’s ankle had to be fractured, I wish it was my ankle. Siobhan’s desk just broke and seeing as though Jarod is an expert at desks, he is fixing it.

 

 

I met her. Me, at 10. The girl who thought life just must be so cool at 27.

I thought back to my weekend. I thought about the two precious people I call my family. I thought about my big grown up self, in my very own kitchen with flowers on the counter if I wanted, and it hit me that all of it is what I imagined. It’s all I hoped for. Only I never really realized.

 

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Happy Monday

x

6 Responses to “Kitchens With Flowers”

  1. museconfuse

    Awww what an adorable post. I wish I had kept some of my old journals from when I was a kid. Xx

    Reply
    • Rachel Wiley

      Hey museconfuse, thanks! It was so fascinating catching little glimpses of a ten year old’s thoughts and feelings and thinking oh wait, that’s ME. Very surreal. I wish I’d kept more 🙂

      Reply
  2. Jennifer Butler Basile

    How lucky you are to have (the life you always wanted) realized it. Beautiful reflection.

    Reply

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