“When’s the baby coming?” we ask Ella, as if she somehow has special knowing powers.
“Soon”, she replies. “Baby coming soon.”
I take it is as a response as accurate as I’ll ever get, and go wash the dishes.
Despite the impending life-changing event about to hit us, there still remains the day-to-day sameness of things as they always are. Routines drive our actions, mindless chores smother our days, and the in-between is filled with homey things like bubble baths and reading Ruby Red Shoes for, just as an estimate, the thirty-seventh time in a row. Not that I’m complaining. One of my fantasy dreams is to be Ruby Red Shoes for a day. The life she has….Seriously. And the shoes.
I remember now what this last bit is like. Even though there is this huge, exciting, thing to anticipate that makes me all giddy and rush-around-ish, there is also – in stark comparison – a routined same-ness to each day bordering on the mundane. And it makes for such a strange mental space, an awful limbo feeling, because while I wake up thinking, “Will it be today?” and pay extra, hopeful attention to every minute sensation of my body, I then spend the day washing the dishes, finding lost shoes, and wiping dirty bottoms.
Underneath it all, I’m bone tired. I’ve been working hard to organize and complete the freelance writing I do from home so that I can have space to soak my baby in when he arrives. I’ve been pushing myself to make the most of this remaining one on one time with my daughter. And at 8pm, I’ve been scrubbing out the cutlery drainer on my sink because, obviously, that is a totally necessary thing to do to make sure I’m prepared for this baby.
I have not picked up my camera for what feels like forever, and usually that’s the first sound that dings on my Burning Out gauge.
So as I write this, I am vowing to settle in. All crops need resting seasons. All tides pull back. And the sameness which exists in our life right now still deserves to be basked in. It mustn’t feel disappointing compared with The Day He Finally Arrives. My body needs to rest. My days need to be calm.
The past few days I’ve…
Drank tea and played music when I felt edgy.
Ate fresh mangoes.
Took midday baths.
Added to my labour basket – things to ease me through the birth.
Sat on my couch with a friend and watched our kids play.
And that is enough. That is what I’ve had to offer, and what life has had to offer me, and there is still plenty of beauty to be found in these simple, small, happy things.
Some recent favourite Instagram moments:
Bedtime routines, story books, and curling up with my daughter at the end of a long day.
This. It never gets old.
Washing and tucking away the cutest of little clothes, ready for his body to slip into.
Stocking the freezer full of food, in anticipation of sleepless nights and cataclysmic fatigue.
Beatrix Potter. And singing Little Peter Rabbit had a fly upon his nose, because it’s now mandatory, obviously.
Receiving parcels in the mail. Like this. His hospital outfit.
Baths. The only cure I can think of for end of pregnancy fatigue.
Dress ups with friends.
(theredtent if you want to follow the IG feed)
And lastly — the best for last, that is.
This little video has totally made my week so far. Kate from Kate Veronica Photography has photographed my family on several occasions and I have always loved seeing the moments she captures. Recently, one of those photography sessions was filmed by A Mighty Fine Shindig to create a little promo clip for Kate, and – I’m not going to lie – I cried when I saw it for the first time.
A Mighty Fine Shindig (found here) and Kate (found here), thankyou for giving us these cherished keepsakes. I will always remember this time of my life – being a mother to a precious almost-two-year-old with the anticipation of another baby on its way – as magical, and this video, to me, completely captures how full our hearts are and how blessed our life is. Thank you so very much.
Happy Wednesday, friends. Find some small, happy things. Celebrate them.