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On Trenches and Shoveling

Bare feet. Clean sheets. Home-delivered fruit and veggies. Striped tights. Baby smiles. Iced water. Her giggle. Morning coffee. Mopped floors. A full fridge. Cool autumn air. New books. Wispy ocean hair.

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In what started among dire circumstances, the week has surprisingly ended very unlike it began. The coat hanger from which our family life hangs – mine and Joel’s relationship – had begun to bend and buckle under the pressure of the current demands of our lives. After a long road, we finally directed our exhaustion towards each other. Mistake number one, because above anything else, to add alienation to the mound of sweat parenthood is, you may as well just grab a rusty knife and stab it square into your foot. If we don’t have each other to say I see you, I see how hard you are working, I value you, then what do we really have? Nothing, that’s what. Resentment, at best.

But the thing about the trenches of family life is that you are both in them. And when you turn your shovels towards each other instead of through the thick earth and forward, you’ll never get out. You’ll die there, likely – at least a part of you will – blaming the other person for the predicament you’re in right until your very last breath. When all you really should have done was just started shoveling.

And so we greet the end of week with relief. With a job well done. With a pat on our backs for shoveling through rock and catching the sun on our faces once again — catching the small things which colour our lives and enjoying them once again.

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A little Friday Fives wrap-up.

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Though the week was testing, outside inspiration was still in abundance. Here’s my five:

  • Coming across a list of Glamour’s top ten TED talks by women. I watched five of them and not only was I moved, I was humbled. Great, loving, strong, honest and vulnerable women are my favourite kind of people. You can watch them all here – I highly recommend making the time to, if you can.
  • I was surprised with a book this week, a peace-offering perhaps, but for the purposes of privacy protection I cannot name names. I can, however, tell you he bears an uncanny resemblance to the man with whom I live.  It has totally reignited my passion for all things crafty, this book. A life without creativity, for me, is like a life without air.

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  • Mary Oliver quotes. They never get old. This one is a favourite from the week: “Still, what I want in my life is to be willing to be dazzled—to cast aside the weight of facts and maybe even to float a little above this difficult world. ” 
  • Loving the article Staying Close To Your Tween Daughter, by Neala Peake. Have filed it away in my Keep For Later folder. Read it here. It’s a goodie.
  • And lastly: Our beach. Whenever I get overwhelm I’m out my front door faster than the speed of light. I herd two kids down to our beach and all it takes is five minutes and I feel better. Air is easier to breathe down there. Perspective is gathered. Sometimes, we start our day down there before overwhelm even has a chance to hit, just as a precautionary measure.

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It’s always re-inspiring, our beach.

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Signing off with a Friday Photo Dump (theredtent on Instagram if you want to follow the feed) and the very exciting news that we’re taking a week off and heading to a little farm between Byron and Bangalow this weekend. This tent is relocating, friends, and I’m hoping to write and write until I’m out of things to write about. And enjoy uninterrupted family time, *of course*.

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Onward,

R x

 

4 Responses to “On Trenches and Shoveling”

  1. Kathryn

    Have a great time having time out from life at hoe despite the challenge of the routine … Life has been full on it seems with new bub and renovations plus life whatever it brings 😎😎😎

    Kathy. Xxx xx

    Reply

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