Eggs On Toast

By The Red Tent, February 19, 2016

It’s Friday. I’m high on a little Friday buzz. Welcome to the random stream of consciousness that is my mind. A few things:

I was at the gym this morning and I saw a woman wearing a Lorna Jane top that said never, never, never give up and I thought: Really? Not even just sometimes? I don’t think that’s very good advice. I think it’s fine to give up sometimes. I think we need to give up sometimes. I think there is redemption in giving up – certainly if, when we give up, we simply fail at the thing, not believe we ARE failures. The difference in that thinking is everything. Humans need to learn that. Repeat after me. TODAY: I GIVE UP. I TRIED MY BEST BUT REALLY I JUST NEED TO LIE DOWN AND TAKE A NAP. I AM, HOWEVER, STILL AWESOME.
Love Yourself. Hands up whose head that song won’t get out of? I go to bed with it. I wake up with it. I hum it all day long. And my kids. Billy demands I play it on YouTube and sings along in his broken English garble way. I start singing along with him and this is what I get: No, mama! Stop! No more. He doesn’t appreciate my astounding singing voice yet. That’s cool. I found this cool kid’s shop on IG last night when I should have been sleeping and there was a black tee with bold white writing saying: MY MAMA DON’T LIKE YOU AND SHE LIKES EVERYONE. I was *this* close to buying because – Bieb fever – but really, it’s a bit on the aggressive side, don’t you think? Anyways, point 3.
Knee high rainbow socks. In Ella’s drawer. Waiting for Autumn. Paired with sunshine yellow sneakers. Tell me you wouldn’t be excited, too.
I love packing lunch boxes. It makes me feel like a real, proper mother.
One of my favourite writers ever, Glennon Melton, has just released the pre-orders to her new book, Love Warrior, due out in August. You must go here now and order yourself a copy. She’s a life-changer, an astounding woman, one of the most inspiring people on the internet. She’s also funny as hell. Totally relatable. You read, blink, then think GET OUT OF MY HEAD, LADY. She writes what you and I think but could or would never say. She lives that way, too. Basically I just love her and you should, too.
Read this this week and loved it:
I don’t even know if I am or I am not.
When I think I am, I find myself worthless,
when I think I am not, I find my value.
Like my thoughts, I die and rise again each day.

~ Rumi

Also translated as: Don’t believe anything your thoughts tell you about who you are. You are messy AND divine. You are lost AND found. You are significant AND insignificant. You are terrified AND brave. You are dark AND light. You are strong AND weak. You are and yet you are not. The quicker we understand this about ourselves – and identify with all the different, contradicting parts without buying into the belief that WE ARE THEM, the fuller our lives will be. We are everything, all the time. Forevermore.

7. Marriage is really, really hard.

8. I stood in the coffee line on Sunday, my usual, familiar woman serving – full of gossip, weight, and love for her grandchildren. Happy Valentine’s Day, love, she said when she saw me and, trying to hide my surprise, I replied, “Oh. Yes! Happy Valentine’s Day!” Joel was at home vomiting in bed and it hadn’t even registered that I was being denied a bunch of flowers and coffee in bed…a small gift, perhaps. “It’s such a silly day, isn’t it?”, she said, lowering her voice. “If you can’t be happy at home with some eggs and a bit of toast, well, I just don’t know what’s wrong.”